Once more into the breach, dear friends...

Miss Mona sez:

I hear the voice of the Lord...

Over and over in the Word that phrase precedes some heartcry. Over and over the people (God bless them!!) respond by trying to kill the speaker.
I feel like the Monster Shouter in Stephen King's, "The Stand", marching up and down the streets with his sandwich board.
I am being called back into intercession and I am terrified. Last time it nearly killed me, put me into a 10 year clinical depression and my family had the ever-lovin' crap beat out of it. Not my fondest memories.
But I can't resist. I don't know how to tell the Holy Spirit to go away and leave me alone.

There was a teaching out of MorningStar by Ray Hughes about 12 years ago,"On Becoming Warhorses." Powerful stuff. He talked about the horses that pulled the firewagons, comparing them to intercessors. Always fascinated me.
So, here I am, standing in my stall, waiting for the harness to drop down onto me...

(I hope this doesn't come out whiny, that is not my intention. This is more stream of consciousness and me thinking out loud. The responses I have gotten have been helpful and encouraging, btw.)

Last time I was asking myself why/who is this written to. The answer is, mostly to myself but I also believe there are so many others "out there" who hear and understand my mental meanderings and hopefully, this will be of benefit. Or not.

My brother said that I am a refiner, it is in my DNA. That is a good description. I tend to think of myself as an untangler( think of a mass of yarn a puppy or kitten has gotten hold of) or a puzzle-sorter (think of spilled puzzle pieces from more than one box). As this will be read by others, I find myself defining my terms for those of you who are not inside my head (and if I were you, I would try to stay out of there- it gets messy).

I listen to all the stuff- TV news, people talking, commentaries and comedians,books I am reading and Facebook posts,  and then I try to sort the pieces out and find the ones that belong to my puzzle. More like a mosaic than a puzzle as so many pieces are broken or badly damaged, I try to bring them into a cohesive whole and then I grab my Bible and begin to pray. Yesterday afternoon I ended up on the floor in front of the stage of our incomplete church.

The thing is, I am unclear as to the reception of prophetic intercession in our church. Our old church was theoretically receptive but in practice, somewhat leary of that which did not line up with the world-view of the leadership. I suck at being understood, it seems and regularly have had things misconstrued. It always made sense to me, just not to "them."  And now I am in a position of having been "away" from church for nearly a year. And I am not always the easiest person to receive from. And I smoke, which is, of course, sin of the highest order. Not to mention the whole diagnosis of mental illness...(which, by the way, I think is BS).(So there)
Did I digress? ;-)

Hell, my own family has a tendency to roll their eyes and try to change the subject, why wouldn't other people raise an eyebrow?

Anyway...

It feels like the whole world is on fire and the popular topic of discussion is whether or not cursive should be taught in grade school in this technological age. The Congress and our President are too busy covering their individual asses and pointing a finger at the other party members as the root of the problem while our economy is in the process of total meltdown. Feels like a bad sci-fi where the "good guys" are the ones who caused the imminent disaster and are busy trying to throw the hero under the bus instead of admitting they screwed up and trying to save a few lives. And in the end everybody dies. What the hell?

What does it take to wake us up?

I don't feel done but I don't know what else to say right now, so you may end up getting Part 2 later on.
Until then, I think my wisest decision would be to go and take a nap...

Loving you,
Mona